my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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