You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
