omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
