BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
