The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
