i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
