Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
