Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
