But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
