Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
