Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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