Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
