Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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