You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
