I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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