under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
