Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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