found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
