Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
