sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
