I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
