Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
