Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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