Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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