hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
he was CRYING into my vagina
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
