They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
