if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
