Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
