I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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