Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
