i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
