I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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