His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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