i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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