the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
