I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
