I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just pee around me
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize