I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
