The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
