Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
