You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
