I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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