did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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