White coat. Heels.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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