Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
well you can't waste a boner
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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