I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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