from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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