so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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