So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Randomize
