would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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